I haven't eaten healthy this week. Not at all. Comes from no groceries, and no time to stop and get healthy food. I've eaten at my mom's or had the leftovers from Shannon, to avoid spending money on lunch or dinner.

I am going grocery shopping this weekend though, to buy food for the party that hardly anyone is going to, and I'll be back on track next week.

Looks like the sidewalk sale will be cancelled. Though I didn't get the official word yet, I didn't bother packing stuff up tonight. Instead, I watched the pretty great Survivor premiere, and cried my eyes out at the ER premiere. That show really knows how to make you bawl when they kill off their doctors. :( So sad. ER often makes my eyes moist - when a child doesn't make it or during other sad moments, but so far, tonight's episode, where Dr. Pratt died, and then the episode where Dr. Greene died, and finally, the one where Lucy died....they all brought me to full on tears.

Anyway. I'm tired, and sleepy. And depressed. The week's stress, along with just plain sad shows and movies, have totally brought me down. Plus, Meme's not doing so well right now, and I can't help her. My mom does everything she can, but she can't take the pain away, and my poor mom is just running on fumes. She's sad, and I can't take that away. Vegas with her was lovely, because she didn't have to worry about Meme. I know my grandmother will be able to get better once she finishes radiation, but its hard seeing someone who was always out and about every day, doing tons of things, brought down to only being able to sleep, read, or watch TV. For months. Its tough.

Death is what I am most afraid of. People I love dying, my kitties dying, and me dying. It is truly depressing realizing that no matter how hard you try, how healthy you live your life, everyone and everything will eventually die. Thinking about this gives me panic attacks.